How To Get Thrown Out Of An Expensive Italian Restaurant

On Filter-Free Fridays™ you get the opportunity to tell businesses, organizations and people how they are doing - in a non-hurtful way.
Last Friday, my wife and I headed out for some Italian at one of the city’s most expensive Italian restaurants. We had never been to this particular restaurant before but the reviews showed well.
We ordered a glass of red wine, the Caprese salad to start and my wife ordered the House Specialty Lasagna and I ordered the Veal-stuffed Cannelloni. They brought fresh bruschetta on crostinis as their welcome. Delicious - well as delicious as you can make tomatoes in December but well spiced and flavorful. The Caprese was alright I suppose - but again made with out-of-season tomatoes - it was good.
Then the main courses arrived straight from the oven in the same dishes. We had to wait several minutes before we could taste since it was piping hot. When we did, my wife thought the bechamel/tomato sauce (which the pastas were swimming in) tasted more like Campbell’s Cream of Tomato soup, both pasta dishes were overcooked (disintegrated when touched) and there seemed to be a lack of any sort of seasoning. Have you ever tasted veal or lasagna without seasoning? Well it’s tastes like … uh … nothing.
The “pepper girl” came by a few minutes later and asked if we wanted fresh pepper. I simply replied, “I don’t think that’s going to fix it.”
She immediately summoned our server (turns out he was the owner) and when asked, we simply said that the sauce tasted like tomato soup, the pasta was overdone, there was no seasoning and therefore no taste and perhaps it was the worst pasta I have ever had in an upscale restaurant (true).
“Well then this place is not for you,” he barked and angrily gathered up the dishes. “I will pay for what you’ve eaten. You can leave at any time,” he barked and then threw the dishes into a tub in the kitchen (really he threw them). And we left.
If it doesn’t taste good, don’t eat it anyway and then pay for it. Say something. The worst that happens is they ask you to leave. I suppose I could have said everything was “fine” but then I would have been lying and the next customer who ordered the same dish would get an expensive mouthful of nothing.
On Filter-Free Fridays™, you’re not just helping the business get better, you’re making it better for the next person. Tell the truth. They need to hear it.

How To Deal With Bad Parkers At The Mall

It’s the Holiday season. I know this because the malls are full and so are their respective parking lots. The problem is that there could be more parking available if not for the selfish displays of a few drivers who could care less how they park.

Strange isn’t it that people can go to the mall to buy a beautiful gift for a loved one while at the same time thumbing their noses at everyone else. They don’t care how they park, they don’t care that they take up two spaces and they certainly don’t care that they inconvenience you. No because they’re selfish, self-absorbed little idiots who, if they understood the spirit of the season, would park respectfully to allow others to have a happy holiday season as well.

So here’s my solution: it’s Filter-Free Fridays™ so the gloves are off. Right now, cut and paste the following and put it into a Word document four or five times on a page. Make it 16-point type and a bold font and when you print them out, cut them into strips:

• Hey selfish jerk, thanks for parking with such lack of courtesy during this Holiday season. It’s obvious that whatever gift you bought today won’t matter because the Spirit of the Season is apparently lost on you. The truth is, I left you this note because you parked liked a selfish jerk. I didn’t damage your car but you might not be so lucky the next time you don’t think about others. Wake up - oh and Happy Holidays. (www.filterfreefridays.com)

Carry a bunch of these in your car this Holiday Season. You’re going to need them. It’ll take the edge off when you place one under a windshield wiper. Then you can go shopping smiling - with the full Holiday Spirit inside of you. And if you see someone parking like a jerk, correct them before they walk away from their car. I’ll bet most sheepishly return to their cars and park properly. Embarrassment works.

How Speaking Up Saves Your Money

I received my American Express bill last month as usual. The amount owing was a few thousand dollars - so I paid it, in full. Even though I charged nothing to card for the next month, I still received my American Express bill this time with an interest charge of $7.80 owing.

Huh? But I paid it all off last month.

I called American Express where they happily explained to me that the interest had accrued a few months prior and that was the reason that $7.80 in interest was still owing.

"Well then you sent a bill that wasn't complete," I offered, "and if you send me a bill and it shows an amount owing on it and I pay it before the due date, then we should be square. You sent me a bill that was not complete and I don't think I should have to pay more than you billed me for."

I was asked to hold for a moment. The clerk then returned telling me that he had waived the interest owing.

How many people would have simply accepted the convoluted excuse about interest accruing months previous and simply given up. If every month, 100,000 people were to do that worldwide, then the credit card company would generate $780,000.00 of new income monthly.

The first excuse is to test to see if you'll go along with it. When you don't go along, you get rewarded.

Speak up. It's Filter-Free Fridays™ - a day when you speak the truth - to help, not to hurt. Stop being taken advantage of. Stand up for yourself. Use your voice.

A Filter-Free Fairy Tale

Part of the reason behind Filter-Free Fridays™ is to give you a chance to tell your team members, fellow employees and the really important people in your life how you really feel about them - especially if they impact your life in a positive way.

Everyone should have at least one person who impacts their life in a positive way. If you don't have one, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd. I have one in my life that, over these past two years, has made a tremendous contribution to my life in helping me be better - every day.

Her name is Trish and we have known each other since Grade 4. She got pushed ahead the year after we met allowing her to skip Grade 5 so, come high school, we never took any of the same classes. But I saw her everyday. Once, I asked her on a date when I was 15 - she said yes. I took her to a school dance but never asked for a second date only because I thought she was just being nice by agreeing to go out with me - she wasn't. My self-image as a teenage boy needed some work. So I had to live with my crush on her and never acted on it for fear that she might say no.

Going to a small high-school of 200 students in a small town, everyone knew everyone else. We had the same teachers, went to the same church, had the same friends, knew each others' parents and came from the same economic background. We had history and a keen understanding of each other's values. We came from the same place physically and philosophically.

After high-school graduation we went our separate ways: her off to university and me off to Kapuskasing, Ontario to take a radio job. We never spoke again for 30 years - until a high-school reunion. We developed a great friendship over the following six months seeing each other only once in that time due to living 2000 miles apart.

Over these past two years, Trish has become my mentor, my confidante and my best friend. There isn't a day where we don't laugh to the point of tears or just relax and feel safe to just be who we really are. There isn't a day where something ever goes unsaid or that a dream goes unspoken. There isn't a place we don't visit together or support each other to be healthy and happy. And if she leaves to do a little shopping, a little part of me goes missing for that few hours while she is away.

Tomorrow, in Gatineau, Quebec, I am going to marry the girl I asked on a date some 35 years ago - and she is going to marry me. She said yes. We will be surrounded by our families and close friends - many from high-school. Trish's 20 year-old daughter will be Maid of Honor and my 25 year-old daughter will be Best Man.

But the lesson we offer to our children is to set a standard and never settle. Keep your standards high and always believe that if your relationship seems like a struggle, it may not be the right one. The right one makes loving easy.

So pardon how long my gushing might seem, but once in a lifetime, someone comes along who just rocks your world and, in the words of Jack Nicholson, makes you want to be a better man.

Tomorrow, I will prove it when I simply say, "I do."

And that, my friends, is a glimpse into my personal life - Filter-Free. Do the same for yourself.

A Missed Filter-Free Fridays™ Opportunity

Driving through Calgary recently, I spotted a sign. Well, if the truth be told, it was my wife who saw the sign first and she yelled out, “You’ve got to take a picture of it.” She really gets the concept of Filter-Free Fridays™.

So we turned around the car and rolled into the parking lot to see the sign that I thought was a completely missed opportunity by the sign company sales representative to offer a Filter-Free Fridays™ piece of honesty to a small business owner attempting to gain a share of the “dollar store” market.

Now, first of all, the dollar store market is competitive because … well … because everything costs a dollar. Price isn’t the competition point. In fact, you expect the price to be the same. So what separates one dollar store from another. That’s where someone tried to get a little creative … when, in fact, the sign looks like it was produced by the Department of Redundancy Department. Here’s the sign.

Seriously, do you really need to tell people that you have super deals at low prices? It’s a dollar store. That’s sort of the expectation. The low price ($1) is supposed to be the super deal.

And honestly, would you be encouraging friends and family to buy your birthday gift from the dollar store? “Gifts and much more?”

Every dollar store has low prices. Every dollar store has super deals. I suppose if you wanted to cheap out, you could buy a “friend” (I use that word loosely) a crappy gift from the dollar store.

What separates one dollar store from another? Service, how you treat people and the quality of the product. Maybe that could have been on the sign instead of redundancy. It was certainly a missed opportunity for the sign company sales rep to help the customer differentiate in a crowded market. Instead, they filled the sign full of redundancies, really saying nothing of value and made it into a bit of a joke. Maybe the sales rep should have spoken up.

On Filter-Free Fridays™, will you remove the filters that prevent you from being honest and finally speak the truth to your customers or will you just take the order and only think about yourself? You have a choice.

“Service Postponement” Is Rampant

So let’s say you had a bad meal in a restaurant. You call over your waitress and you tell her that the meal is not satisfactory. She apologizes and offers to make it right.

When your waitress appears at the table again she presents you with your bill. You notice that you are being charged full price for a meal you had already told them was not satisfactory but you find attached to your bill is a $10 off coupon good for your next visit.

Offer to fix my problem at some point in the future and you won’t have a problem to fix in the future because I won’t be back. But I will make sure that none of my friends come to visit you either.

Trust me, this happens more often than it should. Why is it that restaurants want to wait until sometime in the future before they fix the problems you had today? But it’s not just restaurants who do this. This same service abdication happens across all industries. This is what I call, “Service Postponement.”

How ridiculous is it that you think that you will be able to solve a problem at some point in the future if you are not prepared to solve that problem today?

A customer who is having a problem today needs to have that problem fixed today. And if you are that customer who is having that problem today, then you need to address it today. Do not let businesses wait until sometime in the future before they fix the problem today.

Remember, on Filter-Free Fridays™ you take off the filters that prevent you from telling the truth and you say something in an effort to help them serve you better.

Leave me your comments about your “Service Postponement” experience below.

13 Service and Business Oxymorons

These really don't need much of an introduction. They are pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy on this Filter-Free Fridays™.

1. Your call is very important to us. Your approximate wait time is 12 minutes. Please continue to hold.
2. (Voice mail) I am out of the office until Wednesday next week. If this call is important ...
3. You have exceeded the maximum allowable bandwidth on our "Unlimited" Data Package.
4. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction. Would you be interested in purchasing an extended warranty?
5. To report a non-working phone line, please call our emergency repair department ....
6. Your $29 item qualifies for free shipping in the USA. Standard International Shipping to Canada fee of $35 will apply.
7. Thank you for reporting your emergency issue by email. Our support staff will respond to your inquiry within 48 business hours.
8. If you are unable to reach us by telelphone, please use the automated customer service form on our web page.
9. (Automated phone message) We attempted to deliver your overnight courier package but you weren`t home. It will be available at our retail location (8 miles away) after 10 A.M. tomorrow.
10. Our Company is Proudly 100% Canadian Owned. (on the back) Made in China.
11. While customers want more from the companies and employees they do business with, they have actually come to expect less than they did before.
12. Have a suggestion for us? We are open to your suggestions Monday to Friday between 10 am to 4 pm. Closed nights, weekends and holidays.
13. (As found in the operator`s manual) This page has been intentionally left blank.

Go ahead and tell them when they're doing stuff like this - especially on Filter-Free Fridays™. They obviously could use a little help. They probably don't even know they're doing it. Maybe they'll see the humor in it.

How To Profit From Corporate Mediocrity

“Sometimes there’s company policy and then sometimes there’s just common sense. I’d much rather have you leave my store happy rather than pissed off so I’ll exercise a little common sense and excuse the policy.”

That was a quote from a retail store manager yesterday after I attempted to understand the fine print when it came to the “Buy One Get One Half Off” promotion they were running.

I wasn’t upset. I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why a simple promotion had been muddled with extra rules and regulations. Some items don’t qualify for half-off but do qualify for first full-priced item. It wasn’t clear, at least not to me so I asked to speak to a manager who I hoped would be able to explain it.

I had four items. The first item, if I would have overpaid by $10 would have qualified me to save $35 on the second item. The third item, if I would have been prepared to overpay by ten dollars again, would have saved me another $30 on the fourth item. So by overpaying by $20, I would have saved $65 – netting a $45 discount.

The manager saw the ridiculousness of how the promotion was structured and ended up discounting my second and fourth items anyway.

Speak up. It’s Filter-Free Fridays™. If it doesn’t make sense, say something. Not every promotion has been well thought out. Don’t assume they have. There are mediocre people working in every organization doing mediocre work and offering mediocre ideas. When you speak up and question them, it forces them to think things through and to get better at what they do. And you might end up saving or even making a little money in the process.

How To Stop Ridicule: Embarrass Them First

Would you tell someone if they had toilet paper stuck to their shoe?

What about if their skirt was tucked into their panythose?

What if a man's fly was open? Would you say something? It would mean that you were looking there.

What if their breath was really awful? Would you speak up then?

What about if they were being ridiculed for having bad body odor, would you say something then?

Filter-Free Fridays™ are the days you tackle these nasty little chores. It's the day you speak up and tell the truth in a non-hurtful way. The idea is to say something that helps - not hurts.

Think of it this way: if you were the one with the bad body odor, the bad breath, your fly open, skirt tucked into your pantyhose AND had toilet paper stuck to your shoe, wouldn't you want to be told?

Sure, it might be a little embarrassing for them in the moment but at least it won't be an ongoing problem that creates constant ridicule for them long-term. It's actually pretty simple and you'd probably be surprised how much they would appreciate not being the butt of jokes later.

If only Filter-Free Fridays™ had been around when I went to high-school - I could have told my science teacher that he should stop cutting his own hair, take a breath mint and to stop wearing red socks with a black suit. But then I guess he was just cultivating stereotypes of science geeks and personal deportment.

How To Handle Arrogant Businesses

I can admit when I am wrong. It just doesn't happen very often - the "being wrong" part, not the admitting it part.

Last week, for Filter-Free Fridays™, I blogged about how you can't just lie to businesses by saying everything was fine when it wasn't and then go home and trash them on the Internet. In fact, I said, "Businesses want to be better. They want to serve you better. They want to offer you better products and service. They want to offer you innovative new ways of improving what they do to make your experience that much better."

And I was wrong.

Not every business wants to be better. In fact, some businesses are so full of themselves that no matter what you say, they will treat you like an idiot and make you feel as though they're doing you a favor by allowing you to do business with them. Those are the businesses that need a swift kick in the revenues.

I encountered one of those businesses this week. After dealing with a constant turnover of sales reps over a seven-month period, my frustration got the better of me. The new sales rep was more concerned about looking good than serving us well. So, I was honest and forthcoming. I told them face-to-face what I thought they might improve but they refused to listen. I told them directly how disappointed I was with their service but they refused to listen. I told them what we initially agreed on but they attempted to arbitrarily change the contract by adding items and clauses not previously spelled out. I did this in-person, in writing and in telephone conversations. And still, they feel that I need to pay more money than what we agreed so that I can be served less.

So now, I will warn others to keep clear of dealing with banquet staff at a particular hotel in the Ottawa area (and if you are an Ottawa area meeting planner or are considering hosting a Ottawa area conference or event, I would be pleased to offer you the name of the hotel and all of the awful salespeople on the inside. Just shoot me an email). I just know that this expereince will become a story in one of my presentations that I will end up sharing with thousands of people. Whoops.

When businesses refuse to pay attention to professional customers, then maybe they'll pay attention when they are forced to see the (dis)satisfaction of their customers telling their stories on the Internet or in other public forums. But then again, maybe not. There comes a time when you are forced to use the court of public opinion if you want to warn others. And that should be the spirit of your efforts: to warn others - not to be vindictive.

Arrogant businesses need to be knocked a peg or two and you are just the person to do it - especially on Filter-Free Fridays™.

You Big, Fat, Two-Faced Liar

You've seen it. I know you have. There are a lot of businesses, especially restaurants, who specifically ask, no make that "plead" with you, to tell them how they are doing. (See photo)

Businesses want to be better. They want to serve you better. They want to offer you better products and service. They want to offer you innovative new ways of improving what they do to make your experience that much better.

So they ask important questions like, how was your experience today? And do you know what you do as they attempt to access your expertise as a customer to improve themselves? You lie right to their faces and say everything was "fine."

Even when they print it on their menus how much your feedback means to them, you still lie to them and tell them everything was fine. Then you go home, tell your friends to never go there. You tell your followers on Facebook and Twitter not to go there. You trash them. Even when they come right to you and try to get an honest conversation going, you lie to their faces. And then, when you are a safe distance away and know that they have turned their backs, you ruin their business.

On Filter-Free Fridays™ you tell them exactly how it was. Don't be a jerk about it. Just be honest. Offer something constructive so they can be better at what they do. On Filter-Free Fridays™ you grow a pair and HELP them - don't hurt them.

Or just stay out of their place of business and stop ruining a business. You are not entitled to ruin them just because they had a little too much salt in their soup and you didn't have the courage to say something.

Harsh? It's Filter-Free Fridays™ - get over it.

When It Is Time To Quit

When I was a smoker (hey Barack Obama is still a smoker) I would use this excuse: "Quit? The whole world hates a quitter." People would laugh. But then I quit smoking. What I learned is that sometimes it's OK to quit.

Here are some other examples of when it is OK to quit:

• when you don't find any joy whatsoever in your work
• when you fight thoughts of hurting someone physically
• when your spouse is a serial cheater
• when your boss or co-workers are abusive
• when your values don't line up with what you do or who you're with
• when you finally come to realize that the path you're on is not where you want to be (change university majors, etc)

Then there are times when it's OK to encourage other people to quit:

• when they display unhappiness about their work
• when they complain constantly about the people they work with
• when they are holding back the team
• when you can see that they are going the wrong way and won't admit it to themselves
• when the rest of the staff refuse to work with them
• when their values clash with the corporate values
• especially when they need a little nudge to get out of the no-win cycle because they're afraid to do it themselves

On Filter-Free Fridays™ it's your task to tell the truth: to yourself and to others. Sometimes you just need to finally quit in order for you to be able to go do the thing you're supposed to doing. Every person has some sort talent but sometimes you end up staying in something that you're not right for, just because you're too afraid of what the future might bring. Being familiar is not necessarily the right thing to do.

Sometimes you hire not the "right" person but the "right now" person. Sometimes the "right now" person needs a "right now" job instead of the "right" job. And sometimes you end up with Mister or Mrs. Right-Now instead of Mr. or Mrs. Right. In instances like this, when the fit isn't right, quitting may be the right thing to do.

As a manager, sometimes you need to occasionally encourage a staffer to quit when you know that they are always going to struggle with the job, the hours aren't right, the values clash, personalities clash, you get the picture. On Filter-Free Fridays™, sometimes you just have to cut people free so they can go find what they are right for.

 

Filter-Free Corporate Culture

I was fortunate to be invited to deliver a presentation to a gravel company last year. Since then, I have had a great relationship with several of the staff members. In fact, my blog posts regularly make their way through the emails of managers and supervisors - and I am thankful for that. Funny though, my philosophy of Filter-Free Fridays™ has been one of the more popular suggestions.

There are a few more inter-departmental phone calls and a better willingness to tell the truth on Fridays. The conversations usually begin with, "It's Filter-Free Fridays™ right?" Once they hear a "yep (with a knowing smile)," then they let go and tell the truth. And what a great place it is to work when co-workers don't bite their tongues for fear that someone might be offended - especially when there is little to be offended about. It's an even better place to work when, on Fridays, some of the guys go for a beer after work and talk truthfully about where they work - in full view of others - and they speak highly of their workplace. Can you say you do that?

In fact, in speaking with the HR Director today, I found out that the last five people hired have been as a result of being referred by friends already employed by the company. Imagine never having to put out another "Now Hiring" sign or an ad in a newspaper looking for people because they're lining up to come work for you. That's a solid Corporate Culture built on many ideas - including one of openness and honesty.

A funny thing happens to an organization when they embrace an idea that they like: they keep it at the conscious level in their brains - not the unconscious level. When you give people permission to speak freely, provided their utterances are not hurtful of demeaning, they will usually welcome the chance to not have to run every word through a filter before they speak it. And that is the concept behind Filter-Free Fridays™.

Fridays are the days you speak the truth, where you yourself become accountable and help others become accountable. Fridays are the day you take the protective plastic packaging off of your ideas and thoughts and you let people see the real you speaking your real truth in an effort to help, not hurt.

Eventually, every day becomes Friday. Once it does, it becomes an attractive Culture for others to want to join.

When Managers Should Ignore Company Policy

"Sorry, we don't do that."

That was the answer I received when asked if the public-access computer at the print shop could connect to the Internet so I could print 4 sheets of paper. Which store? Hmm, let's just say it's an office products/computer/print shop store with a big red sign .... one word ... a place you can buy staplers and the little things that go in them. Got it now?

Turns out that you can't access your files on the Internet (Gmail, Google Docs, Yahoo, Hotmail, nuthin') from the store - regardless of the fact that data storage is moving "to the clouds" instead of on hard-drives. The problem is that some former employees were abusing their connectivity to the 'net and now, as a policy, the company-wide policy is to punish all of their "valued" customers because of the actions of a few idiot employees - instead of simply addressing the problem offenders.

"Sorry we don't do that," is not an acceptable answer if companies are completely capable of doing it - whatever "it" is. It is simply an excuse to do nothing instead of pleasing the customer.

Have you noticed that "company policy" is always in favor of the company and NEVER in favor of the customer? I do not believe any customer (or manager) should ever accept this as a final answer. So I searched out the store manager and tried again. I explained that I simply needed to log onto the 'net and only print 4 pages - important pages - and he could watch me if he wanted to.

"We're not supposed to do this but ...." he did it anyway. Five minutes later I was leaving the store, documents in hand and a great deal of respect for the manager who chose customer satisfaction over company policy.

Leaving your employees out to hang by forcing them to offer feeble excuses and policies to customers only serves to screw up your Culture. This is exactly when managers should screw company policy. Managers must empower their people to fix problems - regardless of dumb policy. And customers should hold a company's feet to the fire and force them to fix your problems - regardless of dumb policy.

On Filter-Free Fridays, do not accept "company policy" as an excuse for you not getting what you want. Policies only exist because people rarely challenge them. If enough people challenge a policy, it will be changed.

Take the filters off that prevent you from asking for what you want and stop allowing someone else's "policy" to be your excuse for not getting what you want.

How To Call Out The Workplace Liar

Do you step up and admit when you're wrong? What about your boss? What about your co-workers? What about that clerk who promised to do something but never did it?

Why are you so reluctant to man-up when you are wrong? Why do you hide behind a veil of lies and half-truths when you should be forthright?

Filter-Free Fridays™ are days when you turn off your filters that prevent you from telling the truth - and that especially includes hiding behind lies and blaming others for your screw-up. On Filter-Free Fridays™ you tell the truth. You turn off the filters that prevent you from hiding behind lies or hiding behind not wanting to tell the truth just in case someone's feelings get hurt.

When you hide the truth, you are lying.
When you say your experience was "fine" when it wasn't, you're lying.
When you say "good job" and it wasn't a good job, you're lying.
When you withhold your real feelings because you think someone might be hurt, you're lying.

You need a workplace of truth-tellers who can build a Culture of Accountability and be honest with each other and honest with customers.

How do you live with yourself knowing that you're living a lie? How can your co-workers ever trust you if you lie to them?

C'mon, it isn't that hard. Speak the truth. It's Filter-Free Friday™. And if you can't tell the truth, make up another lie for having to quit your job. Your customers and co-workers deserve better.

How To Improve Workplace Communication

How many times have you read a memo that used so much jargon and "professionalese" that you had no idea what was being said? How many times have you read a report at work filled with gobbledy-gook phraseology and had no idea what point the writer was trying to make? What about managers who, in an effort not to stir up any controversy, use words so carefully that the point becomes unrecognizable?

Most times, people will hide behind not wanting to offend so badly that they offer nothing of substance to the conversation. They gasp with horror when someone says something so direct that they think someone might be offended by it. Is this your workplace? Everyone walks on eggshells so as not to offend? People swallow their feelings and ideas for fear of being singled out, ridiculed or hurting someone`s feelings?

So what do you do? You grit your teeth, stomach your way through it and resent your workplace. You protect yourself in an effort to not lose your mind? You begin to despise your job. You go home at day's end and bitch about it to your spouse. Ooh, I'll bet that makes the relationship special, huh?

Look, if you can't offer up an idea or make a point without fear of recrimination in your workplace, then that Culture will suffocate you and your creativity. Engagement will drop. Morale will tumble. Productivity becomes barely non-existent.

That's why you need to embrace to idea of Filter-Free Fridays™ in your workplace. Filter-Free Fridays™ rules are simple:

• speak your truth in a non-hurtful way
• if someone claims being offended ask them why directly and ask others if that person should be offended
• do not bite your tongue or swallow your feelings
• be direct but sensitive to others
• be firm but not overbearing
• honor yourself and refuse to be bound by conformity in making a point
• encourage others to shed their "filters" and have an honest discussion for a change
• take it slow - one day a week being direct to start and then progress from there

Practice by speaking up. Send the food back if you don't like it, Refuse to accept sub-standard service and never using the word "fine" as an answer to "how was everything?" Because it's Filter-Free Fridays™.

Two Choices When You Screw Up

You set up an appointment with your spouse to meet for lunch during your workday. Your spouse arrives a few minutes early to make sure you'll both have a great table. You, however, forget about the lunch date altogether. You get the reminder when your cell phone rings and an upset spouse at the restaurant is awaiting your arrival but you're a half hour across the city. What do you do? You have two choices:

1. Wait a day and then issue the following statement in an email: "Due to circumstances beyond our control, we were unable to attend and fulfill the scheduled appointment. We regret any inconvenience this may have caused." (Who's "we?")
2. Fall all over yourself with remorse and, while on the phone, gush, "Sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry honey. Oh my God. How can I make this up to you? Will you forgive me? Please. Please. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry."

If you picked the first choice, well, you're an ass and you should be divorced and living on your own. It should actually help you figure out why you have no "real" friends because real people with real feelings usually make the second choice.

• If you accidentally spill your coffee on a stranger at Starbucks, you make the second choice.
• If you swing around quickly at the photocopier and your elbow hits a co-worker in the face, you make the second choice.
• If you accidentally track mud on your shoes onto a neighbor's white carpet, you make the second choice.

You make the second choice because you're human. You have feelings, emotions and compassion. You apologize when you mess up. You try to fix it immediately, or at the very least, find a way to make up for your mistake.

You don't wait a day or two to run it by the Legal Department to make sure your ass is covered and then put out some lame diatribe on paper which neither fixes the issue or even takes accountability for your actions. No, you step up and be a big boy and take the heat. You apologize then and there.

So today, on Filter-Free Fridays™, you stop speaking "professionalese." Today, you speak human. No jargon in your emails, your memos, your phone calls, your meetings and especially your interactions with co-workers and clients. No, today you treat everyone and act like a human for a change and you let people see that you have a personality. Take off the filters that prevent you from being human on the job for a day. Go Filter-Free.

Kevin Burns - Management Attitude and Culture Strategist

Why People Don't Get Promoted

When walking through the mall, what makes one store more appealing than another? Once inside that store, what makes one clerk more approachable than another? How do you choose who is going to sell your house, who is going to sell you a car and who is going to be your life insurance agent?

Oddly enough, you make decisions on every one of these things every single day, in the same way you decide which restaurant is going to feed you lunch, which coffee shop is going to pour you a cup and which parking lot you're going to park in.

And when it comes to dealing with co-workers, you do the same thing: you choose who you talk to, you choose who you ask advice from and you choose who you will ask for lunch. Your co-workers do the same with you. So if you're not getting asked for lunch, asked for advice or talked to much, they're not picking you because of something you're giving off.

This explains completely why people get passed over for promotion, why customers do business with competitors and why some salespeople prosper and others struggle. Some people are just more approachable than others. People deemed unapproachable don't get promoted - plain and simple. I mean, what senior manager is going to promote someone who no one will approach or talk to? Maybe your current boss is one of the unapproachable. Good thing it's Filter-Free Fridays™ huh?

So, on this Filter-Free Friday™, are you going to ask your co-workers why they don't talk to you like they do others in the office or are you just going to accept your mediocre performance for another week and watch someone else get promoted ahead of you ... again?

Filter-Free Fridays™ are the days you offer your opinion to others in a non-hurtful way. It is also a good day to get real, honest feedback about how you're doing. If the Filter-Free Fridays™ concept isn't alive in your workplace yet, maybe you need to be the first to send everyone a link to www.filterfreefridays.com and talk about how your workplace can get involved in making communication more meaningful and honest and give your customers more good reasons to keep doing business with you.

Filter-Free Fridays™ don't hurt. In fact, they offer you the chance to speak with purpose instead of swallowing your feelings. Let's be grown-ups? Isn't it about time you finally talked about the stuff no one wants to talk about so you can get the elephant out of the room? I mean really. It will make your whole organization more approachable.

Filter-Free Fridays™ Implementation Strategy 2

In Part 1 of the Filter-Free Fridays™ Implementation Strategy, we discussed having a lunchtime social event in which staffers were invited to give and receive ratings on the Approachability Scale.

After everyone has had the opportunity to reflect on their scores, gather up all of the little pieces of paper and average up all of the ratings. Then, later in the day, announce the department's overall "Approachability" rating.

Then, set out to create a strategy to determine what the barriers are to approachability within the department: both from staff and from customers (whether they be external or internal).

In order to accomplish that, you will need to remove some of the barriers to approachability that exist in the department. For example:

• If people are not answering their phones and choose to screen their calls hiding behind voicemail, that's a barrier to approachability.
• If people don't return email or their phone messages, that's a barrier to approachability.
• If there are dominant personalities who hog the conversation at staff meetings, it prevents shy staffers from articulating their thoughts - another barrier to approachability.
• Telling a customer (internal or external), "I'm swamped - you're going to have to wait" is a barrier to approachability.
• An unfriendly receptionist or poor or run down reception area is a barrier to approachability.
• Managers with closed doors are barriers to approachability.
• Feeling overwhelmed by workload is a barrier to approachability.
• Not wanting to participate in making the workplace better is a barrier to approachability.

These are all problems found in most every organization. Your people know who the worst offenders are and, in fact, the worst offenders know who they are. It's time it was talked about. Filter-Free Fridays are the days you speak the unspoken.

I encourage you to send out an email to every department staffer on Thursdays reminding them that "tomorrow is Filter-Free Friday™" and encourage them to bring their honest, open and non-hurtful communication with them to work, their best unfiltered ideas to improve the work-flow and their best unfiltered ideas for innovation to make the workplace a better, more approachable place to work. Perhaps consider erecting signs on the wall, at the coffee station and other high-traffic areas reminding your people about your Filter-Free philosophy on Fridays (put them up Thursday nights and take down at end of business Friday to ensure that staff don't become "blind" to them by seeing them every day). Make Filter-Free Fridays™ an event.

The challenge is to make your workplace more approachable. You will never achieve that if the barriers to approachability aren't being talked about openly. By implementing a Filter-Free Fridays™ workplace strategy, you will begin to change your Culture from one of silo-building to one of openness and transparency. You can't tear down silos without open communication.

A Filter-Free Friday™ Salute to Excellence

I'm going to hazard a guess that you are sitting at your desk reading this. When I'm not standing on a stage, I spend a lot of time sitting - in front of the computer researching, writing and responding to emails. It was time I found an ergonomic chair that didn't tire me out - and yes, you can fatigue by sitting in a poor-posture chair. The way I see it, you spend 8 hours a night in a bed that costs thousands. Why sit in a two hundred dollar chair without proper support and ergonomic design for 5-8+ hours a day?

After reviewing chairs online for about a week, I started visiting office chair stores. I sat in sixty chairs over the course of five days and in that time, found only one chair that seemed to fit (I realize I'm sounding a bit like Goldilocks here but it's important that the chair be juuuuust right). But I still had one last stop to make: Lifeform Chairs in Calgary.

Lifeform (the Mortensen family) has been making chairs for five generations. You'd think that being around that long they'd have it figured out. Well they do. And they still do it the old-fashioned way: they construct them, assemble them and sew them by hand right in their Calgary factory and then ship to all parts of the world. Ten thousand chairs a year are manufactured here.

My first sit in their Executive Series Ultimate High-Back chair had me sold. That's my new chair in the picture - and yes that's a mouse pad attached to the chair - something they can also do. There are five levers under the chair that can adjust the chair like nothing you've seen and another lever (for lumbar support) on the back. I even got to pick the actual hide of leather (no kidding - a full hide). Seven days later, voila - done.

My sales rep was Chief Operating Officer, Chris Mortensen. He knows chairs - and he knows how to assemble a great staff. I met many of the staff and I have concluded Lifeform, in addition to building an excellent product, also has an excellent corporate culture. They build a product that is far ahead of anything else I had seen - including (in my opinion) Herman Miller, Steelcase, Humanscale, etc. Not much wonder the employees are happy - they are in a class by themselves. That's a good feeling to go to work with.

So, on this Filter-Free Friday™, I speak my truth and give my tip-of-the-hat to Lifeform Chairs of Calgary. Pardon me if I don't get up to salute you. This chair is really comfortable.
--
Kevin Burns - Management Attitude/Culture Strategist
http://www.kevburns.com

Creator of Filter-Free Fridays™
Creator of the 90-Day System To A Greatness Culture™

Coming Soon Kevin's 8th Book - "Your Attitude Sucks - Finding Your Excellence In A Wasteland of Mediocrity

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