Make A Decision To Make A Decision

Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life” is a bit of a mind-bender when it comes to understanding that every disease or physical ailment has a psychological root. I first read this book about eight years ago and it opened my eyes to the possibility that physical ailments are nothing more than the manifestation of psychological problems – not that I'm saying you have mental health issues but instead it's about the stuff you have been thinking about but done nothing about.

Now before you go off and think that the reason you have a bad back is because you’re crazy, let me explain what Hay is offering.

A nagging sore lower back, according to Hay, is the result of experiencing financial problems. A sore upper back comes from difficulty in your current relationship (that doesn’t give you the right to tell your partner to get off your back). Colds and the flu are the result of too much going on – too many balls being juggled. A toothache is the result of not making decisions. A stiff and sore neck comes from not being willing to be flexible.

If you follow the logic, you can use your body to assess what is going on in your head at any given time and to adjust your attitude accordingly.

In essence, from what I read, Hay is saying that if you start making decisions on the unresolved issues in your head, you can start moving forward with a solutions-based focus and that many of your physical ailments that manifest as a result of a current crisis can be lessened in their severity.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Nagging thoughts, indecision, analysis paralysis (not making any decisions for fear it may be the wrong one) and worrying about change and not embracing it may be the reason you’ve got little aches and pains. Trying to treat the symptoms and not the root cause of aches and pains will leave you in a long battle with that stuff that just never seems to go away. Putting a heating pad on your lower back may bring you some short-term relief but tomorrow you're likely to still have the same sore back because you didn't deal with the underlying issue.

Make a decision to make a decision. That’s the answer. If there is an issue that you have been resisting making a decision on, simply set a date and time for when you will make the decision. For example, you could declare, “I will make my final decision next Thursday at eleven o’clock in the morning on whether or not to pursue that job opportunity I’ve been thinking about.”

I can almost guarantee that the missing piece of information that you need to make the final decision will show up between now and then. When you make a decision to make a decision, you set the wheels in motion that attracts the answers and information you require.

Now before you go off half-cocked thinking this is some sort of new-age fluff, why not test your attitude on it and give it a try first. After all, you’ve been putting up with aches and pains from not making decisions. Why not give this a try. Worst case scenario: nothing changes – you still have pain – but you’ve finally made a decision on something you’ve been avoiding and can move to the next step. Honestly? This process has worked for me for eight years now so I thought I'd bring you a little relief too.

The Résumé Is Dead

What is a résumé? It’s nothing more than a collection of things you’ve done in your work life – a sort-of “eulogy” at work. Oh sure, it may also point out some skills that you were allowed to use while on the job but it really gives no indication of your aptitude, your natural talents nor your values and attitudes toward the work world.

Michael Bloomberg, NYC Mayor, once said, “You are not paid for what you have done in the past. You are paid for what you’re about to do in the future.”

Isn’t it interesting that you (boss or HR professional) decide who you want to interview is based purely on what your candidate may have done in the past – not what they are about to do in the future.

Why is the résumé dead?

• There is no indication from a résumé of what heights could have possibly been reached – only what someone has been given the opportunity to do.
• There is no indication from a résumé of what a candidate is capable of learning – only what they have learned in the past, what school they graduated from and what pieces of paper (degrees) they may hold (relevant or not).
• There is no indication from a résumé that a particular candidate could be the next great leader for your organization – especially if never given the opportunity to lead.
• There is no indication from a résumé of how brilliant a mind may be when hidden behind average grades and average positions in an organization – especially if the candidate was kept down by a tyrant boss.
• There is no indication from a résumé of values and ethics being paramount – especially if only ever given a lowly entry-level position and no opportunity to provide input.
• There is no indication from a résumé that a candidate is a decent human being – credentials on a wall don’t make you decent.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: The workforce is changing. Baby Boomers are retiring and Gen Y is here to stay. In a few years, Gen Y will be taking over management positions and leadership roles and the organizational structure that we know today will be dead – along with the résumé.

The great leaders of tomorrow and those who will change the world, including your organization, will be the people with ideas and those who will challenge the standard workforce strategy. They won’t be hired because of their résumés. And as long as you continue to believe that the résumé is the best way to find a suitable candidate to fill a position, you will be eating the dust of the organizations who have found a way to attract people with brains, ideas, values, ethics and a shared-effort philosophy. These people are found in chat rooms, blogging, e-networking, texting and hanging out with those of like-mind.

Who do you think would bring your organization a higher degree of greatness: a person looking for a job (armed with a résumé) or one who is already sharing ideas with others (armed with a Blog, followers and a huge network)? Which of the two choices do you think would give you better results in the future?

The résumé is dead.

Listen Up

“If you think the person behind the counter is dumber than you, you’ll go out of your way to prove it. But what if he’s not? Can you see a very frustrating day coming for you? But if you believe the person behind the counter may offer you an amusing story to tell, you’ll go looking for that. In over twelve years, since I started doing this, I’ve yet to find a day where I didn’t have an amusing story to tell at the end of it.”

That’s a direct quote from my Attitude Adjustment keynote presentation. I go looking for the amusing stories and I usually find them. This was not one of those days.

I was searching for a shirt. I don’t like ties. I don’t understand ties. In fact, I think a tie is just a fancy noose (perhaps I need to change my attitude on that one but perhaps not). So, instead of “expressing my individuality” through a tie, I wear an open-collared shirt – usually something that makes a statement and is normally one-of-a-kind. I have consulted with some very good clothiers and found a look that feels comfortable for me and yet is not what everyone else is wearing.

I entered the men's wear store where I encountered Earl, the sales clerk. Earl wore the requisite sport jacket, dress pants, patterned dress shirt and a tie. I told him I was looking for a shirt that was unique, one-of-a-kind, not boring, not white nor any shade of red or purple (I look very pink wearing reds and purples) … oh, and I don’t wear a tie.

He became indignant and began to challenge me on not looking like everyone else. He chastised me by explaining that a tie expresses my individuality.

“Not if everyone else is wearing one,” I added.

He argued with me, in a sort of polite way. In essence, he was telling me that he knew better than me what I should be wearing. His condescending attitude was beginning to become irritating.

He pulled down a pure white shirt, a purple shirt and a couple of shirts with red running through them and asked if this is what I was looking for. In my mind, I couldn’t help but think that he didn’t hear a word I said, so I reiterated my “non-negotiables.”

Shirt after shirt came out, each looking just like the last with small variations. They all began to look the same. The colors were boring. The styles were boring and honestly, this experience was becoming boring. So I left.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Do you attempt to push your personal tastes on your clients or do you consult with them? If you’re a manager, do you already know more than your people or is there an opportunity for them to teach you something? How often do you actually just sit and listen to your customers’ wants, your co-workers ideas or your spouse’s dreams?

The art of listening isn’t really all that complicated. It simply requires you to clear your head of all of your pre-supposed fixes, opinions and beliefs that you know better than they. Better that you come off as compassionate more than arrogant.

Every single person you come in contact with can teach you something so long as you trash the belief that you already know everything. You don’t know everything. I don’t know everything. I especially don’t know everything about selling clothes but I do know what I like to wear. Maybe cut me some slack that I have a handle on dressing myself and keep the opinions to yourself. Maybe you’ll be more successful if you listen to what I want before you tell me what I need. Listen. Did you hear me?

Hope I Didn't Complain Too Much

I spent a little time with Bill recently. He’s in his eighties now and lives alone. He spends most of his days in front of the TV as he needs a walker to get around. He has a boarder who lives downstairs and she is supposed to fix his meals and keep him company in exchange for a substantial reduction on her rent. Meals are mostly frozen prepared dinners from the grocery store. She never spends more than five minutes at a time with Bill and he complains about it. And I understand that. For a man in his eighties, he’s being taken advantage of.

Our conversation lasted about an hour. We covered a lot of things including some regrets he has in his life, his loneliness, his estranged family and his quality of life. There’s no one to talk to. His meals come out of a microwave. He can’t drive anymore. He’s bound to his house. It’s kind of tough to be upbeat about life when those are the results you have near the end of it.

As I was walking down the front walk after our visit, he simply yelled out, “Hope I didn’t complain too much.”

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Perhaps Bill’s last words to me that day should be the last words you leave people with. Instead of saying, “goodbye” or “so long” perhaps you should close with, “hope I didn’t complain too much.”

What different conversations you’d end up having with others if you knew you were going to end the conversation with, “hope I didn’t complain too much.”

In fact, I think ending a conversation with “hope I didn’t complain too much” would actually cement the conversation you had with someone else. Both of the talk partners would be forced to reflect on the conversation to see if one or the other did complain too much.

But it will never fly. People just don’t want to be accountable for their conversations. People just want to complain. They want to whine and moan about how tough their lives are and use it as an excuse for not doing better. They don’t want to get out of their ruts and routines and enjoy something better. They don’t want to improve their circumstances or their lives because, well, it’s hard work and they already work hard enough. No. You’ll never hear those words at the end of a conversation because no one really would mean it.

So I guess life will just go on the same way, getting the same results and complaining about the same things. It’s easier to be lazy and complain than it is to fix a sorry life. So feel free to make your choice. It probably won’t be any different anyway.

Hope I didn’t complain too much.

Is Stress Really The Problem?

The Global Business and Economic Roundtable on Addiction and Mental Health conducted a survey to determine the Top Ten Stressors at work. Here they are:

• 10. "The treadmill syndrome" - Employees who consistently have too much or too little to do create a lot of stress.
• 9. "Random interruptions" - Keeps employees from getting their work done - telephones, walk-in visits, supervisor's demands.
• 8. "Pervasive uncertainty" - Created by constant, unsatisfactorily explained or unannounced change.
• 7. "Mistrust, unfairness, and office politics" - Keeps everyone on edge and uncertain about the future.
• 6. "Unclear policies and no sense of direction" - Causes additional uncertainty and undermines confidence in management.
• 5. "Career and job ambiguity" - Creates a feeling of helplessness and of being out of control.
• 4. "No feedback - good or bad" - People want to know how they are doing, and whether they are meeting expectations.
• 3. "No appreciation" - Generates stress that endangers future efforts.
• 2. "Lack of communication" - Leads to decreased performance and increased stress.
• 1. The greatest stressor in the workplace is "lack of control" - Employees are highly stressed when they feel like they have no control over their participation or the outcome of their work.

In reading this list, I was struck by a single thought: there really is only ONE stressor at work – lack of control. The lack of control is really the one constant in every one of the other nine stressors. Lack of control in workload, interruptions, change, mistrust, direction, job security, feedback, appreciation and communication are what are causing the stress.

Now it’s been said that stress is a killer. I don’t buy that. Instead I believe that our inability to handle stress is the killer. It’s not the stress. It’s our in ability to handle it.

It’s not the job. It’s our inability to handle all of the issues that come up in the job.

As I wrote in a recent Blog entry, there’s a difference in the outcome of the work you do when you take on the attitude that your job is your career, even if it’s only your career for now. It no longer becomes just a job. A career is something you manage. A job is just something you grumble about having to do.

Change your attitude on your work and your work will begin to improve. Don’t argue with me on this one. I am right (been there done that). The moment you change your attitude on your “job” being more than just a job and instead being a career, you will begin to see the “job” in a whole new light. And believe me, there is a whole lot less stress when you start taking control of where you work, how you work, the quality of your work and the contribution you make to your work.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Are you feeling out of control on the job? It’s likely because you’re letting every one else decide your career for you. Stop it. Take back the control.

You may need A job but not necessarily this one. Are you working because of the pension you’ll receive at retirement? Then you’ve already checked out mentally and are counting the days until you retire. That’s no way to manage a career. That’s a prison sentence.

I’ve said it before and I perhaps need to say it again: the more valuable you become on the job, the less likely you are to be replaced. Increase your value. Get better at communicating, thinking, sharing ideas, focusing and embracing change (it is a good thing most times). Read the Leadership books. Listen to the CD’s. Go to the seminars. Get better. Get stronger. Get more valuable. And if you choose to NOT do the work to improve yourself and your value, well then sorry. There is no one then who can possibly guarantee that something drastic won’t happen to you. That should stress you a little.

Career Or Job?

I met Wendy years ago when I took a job as a restaurant manager. For me, the management position was a job. It wasn’t my career as I hadn’t prepared myself to become a restaurant manager. Heck, I’d never even worked in a restaurant prior. But I had eaten in plenty of restaurants. I had a good sense of what customer service at the restaurant level entailed. Make the plates look good and the meal would be good. Make the experience good and the restaurant was good.

Presentation is everything in a restaurant – from the way the wait staff presents itself, to the décor to the presentation of the meal on a plate. Make it visually appealing and it will be good.

Up to that point, I had been in radio some sixteen years but had been downsized from my job as morning show host. My career had ended. And for a variety of reasons I didn’t want to leave the geographical area to search out another radio station to work at. So I found myself looking for a job. My career was in radio. The restaurant was a job.

Wendy is one of the people I worked with. She was a cook – and not really a very good one. Wendy became involved in restaurants as a last resort. She was under-educated. She had few transferable skills. She was willing to work long hours for pay just over minimum wage (minimum wage is another way of saying: if we could pay you less we would.). Wendy overcooked most food she prepared. She didn’t really take pride in her work because it was just a job – not a career.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Is what you do each day your job or your career? What difference would you experience each work day if you began to view your job as your career? The work you do each day doesn’t mean that you are stuck in your career for life. It simply means that you have made a series of decisions over your lifetime that has put you exactly where you are today. And if you got to where you are by your series of decisions, then this must be the career you have chosen for yourself – for right now.

Accountability of your life-choices is key in finding satisfaction in your work. You will find your satisfaction levels increase as well as your engagement level. It’s easier to take pride in what you do when you feel as though the work you do is a career. If you view your work as simply a job, you won’t give any more than enough effort to not get fired.

In the same way you can test-drive a car before you buy it and be saddled with five years of payments, you can test-drive a career before you commit to five or more years of employment. The trick, when test-driving a career, is to get out of it (if you don’t like it) before you begin to despise the work. If you despise the work and grumble about it, your lousy attitude will follow you to your next “job.”

Unless someone shows up at your house each morning and points a gun at your head, you are NOT forced to be there. If you go “willingly” (by choice) to work each day, then start thinking of your employment as your career choice at this moment. Do whatever you need to do to advance yourself within your career. The more valuable you become, the more valuable you will be perceived. Those who are valued by their employers always seem to fare better than those who aren’t. Change your attitude from “job” to “career” and watch your results change.