Being Liked And Being Respected

How come you don't say what's on your mind? How come you hold it in? You want people to like you don't you? And you're afraid that if you deal with the stuff that's been bothering you, then you may not be liked anymore. Well get over it. You don't need to be liked anyway. Being liked is the chicken's way out. Given the choice, you should prefer to be respected far more than wanting to be liked. Being liked is the short-term approach whereas being respected is what everyone should be aiming for.

There has been much talk about how one generation seems to perhaps not hold the same amount of respect for others as another generation. It may be true but maybe not. What seems to be true is that everyone wants to be respected regardless of generational differences.

Respecting others means respecting yourself as well. Just rolling over, laying down and taking the beating it is not respectful at all. It is disrespectful to both you as well as to the other person because you are no longer offering them your very best. When you lay down and allow others to run over you, or at the very least, take advantage of you, you are not offering your best. In fact, you are offering your worst and that is terribly disrespectful.

When you hold your frustrations and irritations in, you try to convince yourself that it's not that bad. But you still end up holding a resentment towards the other person. There is no way for you to be respectful of someone else or work in a positive way with someone with whom you hold any trace of resentment.

So if the office dork (because that's what you call him - maybe worse) who leaves an empty coffee pot on a burner ticks you off because he doesn't start a new pot, then don't hold it in anymore. Take it to him and respectfully (not timidly) tell him that you expect him to offer more respect to the rest of the staff by replenishing the coffee. Maybe he just doesn't get it because he has a subservient spouse who looks after little things like this. Maybe he's forty-five years old and still lives with his mom. Either way, you need to teach him a lesson from the adult world - you know, the real adult world where you have your own place to live and you don't have someone cleaning up your mess for you.

Other employees talk about this guy don't they? How respectful is it letting other people grumble and whine about this guy behind his back? You're letting him hang himself out to dry. That's not respectful at all. Show a little class by telling him what you are all thinking. And if he doesn't like you anymore because you told him the truth, well that's OK. You didn't like him either and you harbored resentment. You are no further behind.

Deal with your squabbles and irritants before they fester into great big issues that can't be resolved. Respect yourself and others will respect you too. After all, you can't give respect if you don't have any for yourself. You can not give away that which you do not possess.
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