Lots of Love, Customer Service

I placed an order from this online company one time. Today I received this promotional email to get me to spend more money with them. Don’t just glance over it – read it carefully for the full effect. It’s worth it.

Dear customer,

You, the customer, are the most important visitor on our premises. As a fast growing online store for replacement printer ink & toner cartridges, we has been receiving a lot of supports from our customers. Your advice or complain is always welcomed. We are not doing a favor by serving you....You are doing us a favor by giving us the opportunity to do so.

To celebrate Canada Day, from now to 5th of July, we offer 10% off every order you place on our website. Though some of items are already on sale, we still offer generously 10% off. What a great deal! Hurry up or the deal will end! Don't Miss Our Biggest Sale Ever!

If you missed our Canada Day BIG save, do not worry, we will have more promotions after. Keep in touch! To order or to get more information, please visit us online. Thanks for your continued support!

Lots of love,
Customer Service

I kid you not, “Lots of love, Customer Service.” I'm sure it was as heartfelt as the "Dear Customer" opening. Ooh, let me open my wallet right away.

Really, if you’re going to market yourself, make sure you impress people.
--