The Loudest Person In The Room

Have you ever been struck by a line in a movie? You know the kind of line I’m talking about; a line that had profound meaning for you perhaps like the ones below:

• “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” (Coach Carter)
• “Writers are meant to write for readers who are meant to read.” (Finding Forrester)
• “Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.” (Braveheart)
• “We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.” (Dead Poets Society)
• “Either get busy living or get busy dying.” (The Shawshank Redemption)

Last week, I witnessed another line that spoke volumes about organizational values and could be identified as one a very profound statements for the workplace. Denzel Washington spoke this one.

“The loudest one in the room is usually the weakest one in the room.” (American Gangster)

You know that this quote is bang-on truthful. You know the people that this quote describes. They are the loudest ones in the bar trying hard to be popular. They are the loudest of critics voicing their displeasure at your choice of new car. They will insult you – but say it’s just in fun. They will attempt to bring others on-side to create an “us versus them” situation. They brag about their expensive clothes and lifestyle. They attempt to make you wrong when they themselves don’t understand.

You have worked with people like this. They are the know-it-alls in the room. They poo-poo everyone else’s ideas. They pretend that they work with idiots and attempt to control the work of the group. They think themselves superior and believe that no one else is capable of contributing anything of meaning to a project. No one wants to work with them because they shoot down the ideas of their co-workers. They hate to be challenged. They dislike opposing ideas.

But the truth is the loudest one in the room is usually the weakest one in the room. Real confidence requires no proof so those with confidence don’t feel the need to prove themselves. People who feel the need to be loud usually need the attention focused on themselves. Attention seekers have low self-image and a big ego as their defense. They compensate for low self-image by looking for attention to fill them up inside. They outwardly point out your faults so that the attention is not focused on their own. By tearing you down, they believe that they somehow elevate themselves. That is the classic definition of the workplace bully. Bullies hate to be found out.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Every organization needs confident leaders: those with a good sense of self-worth. Sending the loudest person to management training only feeds their desire for superiority. Sending the loudest person to management training only creates tyrants for managers.

Bullies need to be challenged by the rest of the staff. In group projects, outvote the tyrant in every opportunity. Calmly and confidently challenge every insult immediately. Refuse to back down from a bully’s barbs because deep down, bullies are cowards who use insults to make you feel inferior.

The loudest person in the room has a need to be the loudest person in the room. Take that power away from the bully and he or she will either leave on their own or be labeled as a non-team player and be removed by management as not being a good fit.

The Service-Leadership Attitude™ says that you, as a leader, give people a reason to follow. Fear is not a reason to follow. Bullies use fear as a tool to deflect criticism on themselves. Leaders use inspiration and ideas to give people a reason to follow. Bullying, tyranny and conflict will sink an organization quickly. Leadership has difficulty surviving in this environment. That's why bullies need to be fired - even at the cost of expensive legal bills.

Does It Matter?

When you see your doctor, does it really matter to you what place he finished in his class or is it more important that he have compassion for you and be able to explain your situation clearly and with caring?

When you hire a lawyer, does it matter that he was fourteenth in his graduating class or is it more important that he be good at reading people, be willing to spend a an extra few minutes with you explaining your options and looking out for your best interests?

When you hire an accountant, does it matter which school she received her degree from or is it more important that she be well-versed in changing tax laws, understanding your business needs and be willing to help you set yourself up for maximum success?

When you hire a Realtor, does it really matter that he barely passed his licensing course or is it more important that he keep up to date on market changes, spends time getting to know the properties in your neighborhood and is willing to work hard for his commission?

When you hire a new employee, does it matter that they come to you with the highest marks or is it more important that the new employee is willing to learn, accept guidance, work well with the rest of the team, accept that he or she has a lot to learn and shows determination in helping develop better customer relations with your clients?

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: The truth is your education doesn’t really start until you leave school. It’s in the real world where you are forced to deal with the ever-changing economic realities. You are obliged to adapt to change, correct your course and handle adversity as it shows up daily – both personally and as an organization.

You rarely get the choice of who you work with. You are thrust into an environment of diverse people, genders, racial backgrounds and incredibly diverse opinions. Your marks aren’t going to help you here. It’s your “people skills” that will make or break your team. It’s the attitudes of your people towards “service leadership” that will separate the winners from the losers.

Every career, every position and every employee must understand that the job – regardless of what your title might be on your business card – is service. Everyone in every job in the world serves someone else. There isn’t a job that doesn’t serve someone else. Customer Service reps and salespeople serve the customers. HR serves the employees and senior management. Marketing serves the sales department. The CEO serves the employees and shareholders. Every employee serves every other employee by being able to get along, accept people’s foibles and idiosyncrasies and move forward toward the common good. Everyone serves someone else. That’s the definition of Service Leadership – taking the lead in serving others.

Those who can’t or refuse to comprehend Service Leadership will fail miserably. Service is an attitude. Customer service is a department. If you’ve hardly picked up a book on how to be a better, more compassionate, empathetic, genuine service to your community and clients since you left school, well then; you’re likely to wallow near the bottom of your success potential for years to come.

You want to work with people who have people-skills. You want to hire professionals with good people skills. You want to feel valued and respected in every interaction. It’s the people with excellent people-skills who will excel in life. Credentials on a wall don’t make you a decent human being. Your education has just begun. Yes, it matters.

On Life’s Journey With A GPS

“Would you like to add a GPS to your rental today?”

It’s a question I was asked at the Rental Car counter. I think a GPS is great, especially the ones with the voice prompt that tells you to turn in 500 meters.

That’s a safe way to keep your eyes on the road. But a GPS can be a bit distracting when you already know the shortest and most expedient route to get where you’re going and the electronic voice wants to send you another way.

“Turn left at Main Street,” the voice may say but you drive right by because you think you know a better route. That’s when you hear the voice prompt announcing, “Recalculating,” as it recalculates another route to get you where you want to go.

How many times do you drive right by the opportunities in your life because you think you already know the better way?

You gave the company your loyalty in the Boom years and now you’re being downsized? Recalculating.

You got a university degree in a discipline that offered too few opportunities in an “Off-Boom” market. Recalculating.

You believed that employers hire the “highest marks” so you gave up networking opportunities to concentrate on your work and now you find your lower-achieving co-workers are being promoted ahead of you because they developed the necessary social-interaction and communication skills. Recalculating.

You thought that the Boom years would last forever and spent like a drunken sailor only to find yourself behind and the money train is leaving the station. Recalculating.

You believed that finding a job and working for a large company was the safest way to job security and now you learn that while the 500+ employee companies are laying off their people, small businesses under 20 employees are growing. Recalculating.

You still won’t make the move to start your own business even though now is the perfect time to strike out on your own giving you more security and freedom. Recalculating.

You refuse to shed your comfort zone even though the world, the economy and your life is changing. You refuse to stretch yourself which leaves you further behind every day you don’t adapt to the changes – all because you’re afraid of failing. Recalculating.

You live your life trying desperately to fit in with the rich people only to finally realize that you gave up who you are in the hopes you'd end up rich. Recalculating.

You grumble about others getting ahead, even in a normal economy (compare 2009 to 2002’s economy and you’ll see we’re at “normal”) and you still think that you’re entitled to have everything just handed to you. Recalculating.

You refuse to accept that others may know better than you how to get where you want to go but you don’t ask their opinions because you’re afraid you’ll look weak. Recalculating.

You condemn and criticize others who have the courage to chase their dreams in the hopes of somehow elevating yourself. Recalculating.

You know everything. Recalculating.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: There’s always another way to get where you want to go. Pay attention when others offer simple directions and stop making life so hard on yourself. Every road map has more than just one street.

Training – Necessary or Perk?

Are you treating training as a perk? If your organization has chosen to forego training sessions for your people at this time in our economy, then you are telling your people that training is not really necessary. You’re telling them that their improvement on the job is a perk. And that’s a horrible message to be sending your people at this time.

Employees are looking for reassurances right now: that they are valued, that their contribution matters and that business continues in spite of what the economy may be doing. If you’ve pulled your training programs until the economy gets better, you’re saying that you want your people to be nervous, to be frightened, to be uncertain and that is the message your people will pass on to your customers.

Training, the right kind of training, is not a perk – it’s necessary. In fact, training your people to become more confident, more resilient and stronger individuals is exactly the kind of leadership these times require. Not hosting continuing training sessions for your people because you may be scrutinized in the same light as AIG (after they were handed bailout money) is a follower’s way of doing business - not a leader’s way.

You need confident, resilient and strong individuals on the job right now. You need individuals who are not afraid of a turn in the economy away from the Boom times. You need individuals who, in spite of what the media may be saying, are confident that they can get a leg up on the competition.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: When the economy starts to rebound (and there are glimmers of that happening right now), will you choose to be ahead of the competition or lagging behind the competition? Second place is not leadership. Tenth place is not leadership. Leadership is an attitude of busting through the difficulties and not allowing reasons, excuses or justifiers to stand in your way.

Anyone can be a naysayer. That’s easy. But not everyone can say to their staff, “In spite of what’s happening in the world, we think we have a great shot at taking extra market share. We think you’re the people who can do the job and we’re going to make sure that you have the right tools, the right products and the right attitude to be successful regardless of the circumstances.”

Professional athletes are still being coached even if the stands are not full of fans and gate receipt revenues are down. The coaches of these teams aren’t saying, “We’re not coaching you to be any better until the economy is better.” No way. It’s “game on” right now. So how come you’re not coaching your players?

Training is not a perk. If you’ve pulled your training budgets, then when it does come time to train your people, they won’t take it seriously because you didn’t take it seriously when your people needed it most. In leadership, it’s not what you say that matters – it’s what you do. Your actions determine your outcome.

If you want your people to take their jobs seriously, to take their contribution seriously and to take you seriously, then you had better take them seriously. Your people are the one asset that never depreciates. Treat them like the investment they are. Invest in them and they will invest in you – regardless of where the economy is at. You will get what you give.

Emergency Or Brain-Fart

So what constitutes an emergency? Is it only an emergency if you don’t deal with the signs? Could your emergency today be chalked up to stupidity yesterday?

Such were the questions that fluttered through my head just a little after midnight on a cold winter night on a desolate highway. I was making good time driving to my next destination but the cold weather was causing more fuel than normal to be used. I had made this drive many times before with plenty of gas to spare at the end but now the low-fuel light was lit up on the dashboard and I was still about a half-hour away from my destination. Based on the fuel consumption so far, there was no way I would make it to the next big city with all-night gas stations.

I pulled into a small town and right up to a set of gas pumps but the station had been closed for over three hours. I had been driving five hours since my last fill-up and had passed several 24-hour gas stations – not bothering to stop since I was still relatively full. The last three hours of the drive however, not a single gas station was open at this hour.

I carry a CAA (AAA in USA) membership and the car even has a Roadside Assistance guarantee. But I wasn’t on a roadside. And I wasn’t stranded. I was in front of a fuel pump at a gas station that was closed. Was this an emergency or was I here because I wasn’t paying attention earlier?

The sign in the window of the gas station had a number for 24-hour towing. It was a local number and I was guessing that by the size of the town, the tow-truck guy could probably see me from his house. I called the number and in just over ten minutes, my car was being fueled from a jerry-can on the back of the tow truck. Forty dollars (tow truck call) plus the cost of gas and I was on my way in under five minutes.

I realize that I could have called CAA and they would have found someone (maybe the same guy) to come and put gas in my car. Then there’s the requisite paperwork, the verification of membership and the motivation of the driver who has to decide whether he’s in a hurry to jump out of a warm bed on a cold night, bring a can of gas to some schmuck sitting at a gas station and maybe get paid for it a month or two down the road.

I just decided to adapt to my situation and cut out the middle man for expediency. It was late. I was tired. And in fifteen minutes I was on my way. I wasn’t going to expect someone else to bail me out. It wasn’t an emergency. It was simply bad judgment on my part. I created it. I could fix it.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: How often do you expect others to bail you out of your situation when you are completely capable of handling it yourself? When you expect someone else to fix your predicament, you no longer take ownership of your situation.

Are you taking stock of your situations? Is what you’re going through right now a real emergency or is it just an inconvenience? Are you now expecting someone else to get you out of the predicament you put yourself into?

A flat tire in the middle of nowhere, or a broken fan belt, an overheated car and a dead battery all constitute being an emergency. Then you use the “insurance” you have. Running low on fuel because you ignored the open stations earlier – not an emergency. Fix it yourself. You created it.

Don’t whine “that’s what you pay the membership for.” No it isn’t. You pay the membership to help you out in an emergency - not to come running like a staff of servants whenever you don’t want to do it yourself.

If it’s your mess, and you’re completely capable of fixing it yourself, then fix it. Don’t make someone else do your work just because you can. That’s just selfish. Trust me; you’ll feel better just getting it done yourself.

Globe And Mail Feature

Sarah Boesveld, a reporter with Canada's largest daily newspaper The Globe and Mail, asked me a few questions this week on whether or not I think it's OK to be laughing during the economic downturn. My answers appear in her story in Monday's edition of the Globe And Mail.

I will endeavour to post the full story here on Monday.

UPDATE MONDAY MARCH 9: OK, so the story went in a different direction than what I was commenting on so my comments don't appear. Sorry for the false alarm. (KB)

It’s Not The Economy Stupid

Driving past the electronics store yesterday, a roadside billboard caught my eye.

“Watch the recession in high-definition.” That was how the billboard read.

My first thought was that the store manager obviously had a few leadership abilities himself. In an effort to stop his employees from becoming de-motivated by the doom and gloom of the media about the current economic crisis, he injected a little levity. In doing so, he sent a strong message to his people: “we’re still open, you’re still getting paid and people are still buying big TV’s. So let’s remember that the economy isn’t an excuse for not being good at what we do.”

At the same time, he sent a very strong message to his customers. “You’re also still getting paid, the world isn’t upside-down and now is a great time to be making a major purchase with some of the best pricing ever.”

I spoke with a real estate agent today who tells me that for the month of February, real estate sales are up in Calgary and the median price per sale is also up. Some people, when the economy was on fire, got greedy and snatched up some overpriced properties in an effort to flip them for a quick profit. Research says that by the time amateur real estate speculators get involved in the market hoping to make a quick buck, the market boom is usually over. And such is the case for a few greedy-wannabes.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Are you really any worse off this year than you were this time last year? Honestly. If you are worse off, is it the economy or your own decisions that have caused you to be worse off? If you’re about the same as last year, has the economic situation affected you directly or are you just thinking that it’s affecting you? Did you overspend your means when the economy was robust and now you have to play catch-up?

It’s time to take stock and really tell yourself the truth of whether you are any worse off today than you were yesterday. For the 92.8% of Canadians who are still working, it’s really no different today than it was this time last year. For some people though, well they made some bad decisions about their own personal finances and it got away on them.

If you overspent in past and now it has caught up with you, it’s not the fault of the economy. If you over-extended yourself in past and now you find yourself a little behind, it’s not the fault of the economy. If you got greedy when the economy was hot and perhaps thought you could buy up some real estate and flip it for a profit and now you’re stuck with it, it’s not the fault of the economy.

There is only one common-denominator in every bad job, bad financial decision, bad judgment and bad luck. That one common-denominator in every bad thing in your life is you. Change you, not the economy, and you change the results in future.