Here’s the difference: A manager will “send” and a leader will “bring.”
Let me explain. I had one manager who, it seemed, was forever chained behind his desk. He never came out from behind that desk and we, as staff, were reminded in every discussion in his office who the boss was.
Yet, I had another manager several years later that would always come out from behind his desk and sit beside me whenever we met. He made me feel, at that moment, like the most important person in the world.
Now which of these two managers do you think I gave a better effort for?
Over those years of working under different management styles, here’s what I learned:
- A manager will send a memo, will send a directive to work harder, will send an order, will send his/her idea to a meeting or will even sometimes send his/her replacement when he/she thinks it’s not important enough to attend him/herself.
- A leader will bring him/herself to the meeting, will bring a willingness to show that he/she is prepared to work alongside his/her people, will bring his/her own ideas and encourage everyone else to poke holes in them, will bring out the ideas from his/her people and will bring other staff with him/her to a meeting in order to allow his/her people to bring their best to the meeting as well.
- A manager will sit behind a desk and have a psychological barrier between him/her and a staff member. Usually the manager’s chair will sit several inches higher than the chair on the other side of the desk making the other person feels smaller and less important than him/herself. Usually a manager does not want to have their authority questioned and therefore will ensure that the employee never forgets who’s in charge.
- A leader, however, will come out from behind the desk and sit beside the person he/she is talking to. A leader will raise the prominence of the employee to almost that of an equal and certainly to a valued member of the team, thereby creating a better “team” environment. A leader will choose to be vulnerable because he/she has inner confidence. Real confidence requires no proof (think about that one for a moment). A leader realizes that if nobody is following them, then I guess they’re really not the leader are they?
So, if you’re going to be a better boss, you’d better get used to the fact that there are a whole lot of people on your team who are, perhaps, just as smart as you and have a few ideas you haven’t even thought of yet. Trust in them enough to show them they are valued. Don’t make them feel small in your presence, as it will only encourage dissention in the ranks.
Be a leader instead of a manager. Understand the whole leadership concept this way: The purpose of a fruit tree is not necessarily to grow fruit, but to grow another tree. Now go grow some trees.
Instigationally,
Kevin
5 comments:
This is so inspiring. (DS)
I remember many years ago, taking a course in university--Management 401 or some such name. Anyway one of the "tricks" they taught the class was to put three loonies in the left pocket each morning, then each time you complimented an employee on a job well done etc. you were to move one loonie to the right pocket. By the end of the day you were to have all three loonies in the right pocket. I now (after many years and much life experience) wonder why we need a "loonie" to remind us to let a person know they have done a great job. As adults we are very fragile. In my own day to day practice, I try to let those around me know how great they are and what t terrific job they are doing. I have learned the importance of good communication and real caring--both of which I hope I convey. The older I get, the more kind I have become and the less I know! I truly enjoy people and have learned so much from some of the folks that have passed thru my life. I also believe that everyone and everything is brought into my life for a reason--I am to learn something!. If the "bad stuff" keeps repeating then I know I have not learned the lesson I am supposed to. When I finally do learn the lesson, life moves along. Thanks for allowing me the time and place to share some of my thoughts.
I just read the one on managers and leaders and was thinking about Servant Leadership. I present a full day seminar called Lead From The Heart. In it I define what a servant leader is. "A true servant leader is one who is willing to lead from a place of obscurity. They do not need to be seen as the leader and are willing to work tirelessly without recognition. A true servant leader receives their reward from seeing their team members become successful. A true servant leader will not go the extra mile for their followers – they will go the extra 30 miles. And they will carry the members the last 15 if they have to. A true servant leader also knows the exact step on that last 15 miles in which to set the member down on their own feet because taking one more step for them would do them more harm than good. A true servant leader will not continue to give their people fish and only feed them for a day – they will teach them how to fish and feed them for a lifetime."
Stay well and stay successful Kevin.
Loved the one for bosses and getting out from behind the desk.............Thanks for always having great insight Kevin!
I really enjoyed this particular one ... something we can think about in other areas of life, like parenting. Thanks.
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